Caligram

To me in 20 yrs,

 Where are you?? Where are you physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally? I can not wait to see how much you have grown. I am  typing this with fidgeting fingers. I can not contain how excited I am to see how much you have come into yourself. You are 20 right now and it has been a rough couple of years. Just recently you have been going through a lot of manic and depressive episodes. I know all of these emotions are scary and confusing but you will get through it. You trusted in the universe. I hope you have found your voice, because right now I feel like I’m in a never ending cycle of letting myself down. Every time I try explain to people my feelings and the degree I feel them to no one understands which makes me feel worse. I’m also realizing right now that it’s okay to not be understood, or at least trying to find a balance. You have always been a loner so the inevitable never getting married doesn’t scare me, I just hope you’re happy no matter what. You spend a lot of time trying to make others happy but still come off as selfish because you feel like you feel your emotions way more than other people. Maybe you do, and maybe you will have enough courage to go to the doctor and get a diagnosis, or maybe there is nothing to diagnose. I hope you still enjoy the little things about life, like riding with the windows down, the city lights, or the birds chirping in the morning. I really love how amazing you are and that you are still here and thriving. Life is so worth it, do not forget how beautiful life is, also just don’t forget to live not just be alive.